Marriage and the Family Introduction
I would like to start out by saying from
the very beginning that the things that I have written are not things
that Iíve always been able to put into practice in my life and in my
marriage and family relationship. In fact there were often times that I
fell far short of it. The reason that Iím saying this is because I donít
want anyone reading these writings to get the idea that my wife and I
are perfect parents. No, on the contrary, as far as I know there isnít a
perfect husband or wife, father and mother anywhere in this world (save
that is except our Lord and Saviour Jesus). My marriage and family
relationship had many, and I say many, ups and downs, good times and bad
times, successes and failures too. But it has been these ups and downs,
good times and bad times, successes and failures that the Lord has
blessed both my dear wife and myself to be able to learn many lessons
from and hopefully pass along to others.
Sometimes we did the right things, but
we felt that more often than not, we fell short of the mark. You can ask
my wife and sheíll be more than happy to tell you that we both had to
struggle and work to raise our family. I wish that I could tell you that
living day to day as husband and wife and raising a family was easy, but
itís not, in fact it takes a whole lot of hard work, and patience!
We, that is to say, my wife and I, have
been married now for twenty-six years, and have raised three children,
and what I would like to share with you are the wonderful lessons that
the Lord has taught us throughout the years of living and learning in
our marriage and family relationship. As my wife and I look back now, we
can clearly see the leading of the Lord in everything in our lives, and
especially as we raised our children. And in those twenty-six years
there have been many times that we have tried to do some things our own
way, and have always found that our own way has always lead to disaster.
We would end up feeling like God had abandoned us, and left us to our
own devises. But in fact what had happened was that He had not left us
at all; no, on the contrary, it had been ďweĒ who had forsaken Him! And
by these experiences we have been taught that when we followed the
leading of the Lord that He never, and I repeat never failed to bless us
in our efforts to uphold the marriage and family relationship with much
blessings as we attempted to live in this present world. Despite our
failings and shortcomings, and by and through the grace of God, we have
been blessed to raise three of the most wonderful children.
Our two daughters are now married, and I
hope that my wife and myself have given them a good pattern to follow.
We have both tried to teach them that they too must trust the Lord in
all that they do. And have also tried to show them that we love them, by
always working together as husband and wife through our problems (which
have not always in a peaceful way). But we felt that it was just as
important for them to know that they could always count on the help of
God to keep going, even as they saw a lot of their friendís parents
going down the slippery road to divorce.
Our son still lives at home, but he is
now twenty-one years old. (I know that my wife really enjoys having him
around too; once a mother always a mother). Our prayer for him is that
he has a foundation in which he might go out into the world following
the Lord and he himself becomes a husband and a father someday.
And now as we both continue to move on
into different phases of life beyond the raise up of our children, we
realize that in this area we still have a living and growing marriage
and family relationship. We have really begun to see that even as the
kids move on out of the nest, that our marriage and family relationship
is still continuing to grow! And we are still learning from those
things that the Lord God brings into our lives. Right now we are
learning what it is like to have sons-in-law.
Understand it seems like only yesterday
that our little girls were just babies! And now we are looking at new
and growing aspects in our marriage and family relationship. And
perhaps, if the lord is willing we will have some grandchildren, and who
knows, perhaps Iíll write something about that someday.
And so beloved, I would like to say to
all of you who have found that the road in the marriage and family
relationship can often be a difficult one, as well as to those who are
about to set off down it to remember that God as told us in His word,
the scriptures, that He would never, no never, leave us nor forsake us!
And that when you feel like you have been run over by the train of
lifeís hard knocks that ďthis too shall pass.Ē And when it does please
ask the Lord to teach you His ways in order that you might endure with
it all with much patience.
What constitutes a marriage? Where did
it come from? Whose idea was it anyway? Who established it? What is a
family? And what do the scriptures have to say about family? Does a
marriage between a man and a woman make a family? And why is it
important to us to know the answer to these questions? The Lord willing
we will take a careful and prayerful look at the answer to these
I think that it is so very important
that we as Primitive Baptists be well established and grounded with an
intimate knowledge of what Godís instruction book, His holy scriptures,
the Bible, have to say and to teach us about this subject. Why? Well
there are three reasons: First, so that we will not find ourselves lost
in this world of confusion and error in the matter. There are so many
worldly ways being advanced by so many so-called experts on the subject.
But these only leave us rudderless and without any sense of direction.
Never knowing, nor understanding the well-being of a God designed, God
blessed and God supported marriage and family relationship.
Second, so that we will know how we are
to live and grow in our marriage and family relationships, as well as
all other relationships in our lives here on earth. And in our growth be
blessed with a real, vital and abundant life each and every day of our
lives. One in which our children will be able to see and be blessed by
the lord to have a foundation on which they too can build their own
marriage and families.
Third, having this understanding will
affect all of our other personal relationships in the here and now. We
will be able to behave ourselves in such a way so as to bring honour and
glory to God, and to the cause of Christ, and His dear Kingdom.
I will try to break this booklet down
into several parts dealing with different aspects or ingredients of the
marriage and family. First, the covenant of marriage, which is the
foundation on which it stands: The covenant that God Almighty Himself
established all the way back in the very beginning of time. This
covenant has lasted down through the ages and still serves as a blessing
to us personally, and to every nation that honors and uphold it.
And lastly, you husbands and wives,
fathers and mothers, seek out someone in the Church Kingdom that you can
share your thoughts, feelings and experiences with: Someone who can
help you to ďBear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of
ChristĒ (Gal. 6:2). Pray for each other without ceasing! Take out time
each day to remember one another before Godís wonderful throne of grace.
God bless all that love the truth in